Started off on the wrong foot by getting to work late this morning, and was out of sync all day.
I never take a lunch, and I always stay late; still, my tardiness pissed off my superiors. VP Minions was kind enough to fill me in on how upset my absence made them, and what they said about me...
It is helpful to know when bad things are being said about oneself...
but it does fuel paranoia.
And so the hamster running in the wheel on the rational side of my brain has had to run much harder & faster than the hamster in the wheel in the emotional side of my brain in order to maintain mental equilibrium.
Both hamsters must finally be knackered, because I'm not nearly as anxious about my job security now as I was this morning. It's also possible that they've tagged out and were replaced by their partners, Denial and Distraction.
If the superiors do see fit to axe me, then in addition to severance pay I'd also receive the six weeks of extra pay I've accumulated by not taking any vacation in the last three years. And the HR Dep't likes me, so I do hope that means they'd manage to arrange it so I'd be eligible for Employment Insurance.
The only pain in the butt would be having to admit I'd failed in balancing an honest day's work with astutely judged amounts of slacking off.
Posted by edgar at March 28, 2003 05:28 PM