The building in which we conduct our daily business was built by us, for us. It has aesthetically pleasing proportions, and is very tastefully appointed.
But, having expected that an architect would follow function over form, I was surprised to discover that this building has a few unexpected behavioural quirks.
My work area has a two-story high ceiling, a large window that runs the length and breadth of one wall, and expensive marble floor tiles. Visually, it's quite impressive.
But it also has no heating on floor level (instead, there are vents in the ceiling), there have been no provisions made for shading the window, and the marble is as slick as zamboni-resurfaced black ice.
Over the course of our first winter here, I've discovered that in practical terms this translates into:
1} a room temperature that hovers just below the Goldilocks zone.
Bonus: Though it is uncomfortable, suffering this daily cryotherapy will preserve my good looks better than Botox and extend my natural lifespan to that of a Galapagos turtle.
2} a brightness that makes all reflective surfaces potential resonators for eye-blinding laser beams.
As the sun now creeps higher towards its summer path, it becomes increasingly apparent that the greater part of my day will be spent under the magnifying glass of a young god who is intent on burning out my retinas like a juvenile delinquint incinerates ants.
Bonus: I will have to acquire a pair of sleek, dark, faintly intimidating and fairly expensive UV-rated sunglasses, and write them off as a work-related expense. Does anybody know where the feds get theirs?
3} a treacherous-when-wet floor, which is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
It has been impossible to prevent snow from being tracked in, and we have had to lay a narrow runner of carpet to allow people to traverse in safety. Thankfully, in the summer we will only have to fear a broken sacroiliac when it rains outside, when the floor has been freshly mopped, or when beverages have been spilled.
Bonus: My desk is protected by The Millimetre Moat of Doom(TM) ~ Just Add Water!
Eternal youth, expensive sunglasses and an inaccessible lair... this could be the start of something villainous...
i completely missed this post!
*blink* that or i must be getting old and senile... ah yes the good old greenhouse effect! :o)
hmm it would seem that i'm an evil genius. *cackle* eh-em. *rubs hands together gleefully*
Posted by: munin at March 27, 2004 10:05 AM