FYI:
The partridge in a pear tree is on backorder.
The two turtle doves appears to be a doubleshipment; what is the authorization procedure to return the duplicate for a credit note?
The OLF has mandated that the three french hens should be accompanied by three english hens which must be 40% smaller in size.
Please be advised that these four calling birds may be monitored for quality assurance.
It would seem that the five gold rings may have been lost in shipping; can somebody please confirm the tracking number and start a trace? If we can't pinpoint them, heads are gonna bloody roll.
The six geese~a~laying are buggy. We have tried to patch them with the seven swans~a~swimming, but they still keep crashing. Please be so kind as to ask IT to pasteurize them with the eight maids~a~milking anti~virus software.
The nine ladies dancing? They're from the Accounting Department; the ten lords~a~leaping have bounded past their sales quota for December, and it's just been announced at the office Xmas party that bonuses will be bigger for everyone this year. On a completely unrelated note: does anybody know the number for Operation Nez Rouge?
There are eleven pipers piping out front, thanks to a burst water main; consquently there is ice everywhere, so lords and ladies please do watch your step... you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
Lastly, the matter of the twelve drummers drumming. That is not my department. Percussion problems should be referred to maintenance.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Happy Yuletide Wishes,
Ed.