Running Ideas

... but will we see it on condoms?... and if so, will people still name their children after it?

Selling the idea of a gun. Further to Now that'll pierce your armour:

"More than 70 million of his automatic rifles have been produced since 1949, but Mr Kalashnikov, now 83, has never received a kopeck in royalties.

"This week, it was confirmed that Mr Kalashnikov has struck a deal with a German company allowing it to use his name on a range of "manly" products — from snowboards and umbrellas to shaving foam, watches and penknives."

I'm sure the flashy sportscar will not be far behind.

...but what about marketing to women & children?

How about plush stuffy reproductions of various Kalashnikovs by Gund? (The NRA could finally lighten up and reveal themselves to be the warm & cuddly "Toy Guns for Tots" kind of god-fearing christians they are. And they could use the slogan, "When Gunds are outlawed, only criminals will have Gunds. Gotta Getta Gund!")

Or diapers? (Why? Because they still work even when they're full of crap.)

Or cosmetics? (If the SWAT Team can use the phrase "Avon Calling", then Avon can launch KaLash Mascara. I think the slogan "On Sortie" would only have a double-meaning in our neck of the woods; unfortunately, my French language skills are so poor, I haven't the faintest idea what that second meaning would be...)

...you see? That's why I don't work in Marketing.

Nocturnal Nicky Ninedoors

For the want, all for the want of...

Dreamt I was back at home, in the family garage.

Messy, pack-rat heaven, loads of forgotten things. Man-mades going back to nature. Very organic; full of dust, must and rust.

Somehow, the subject got around to horseshoes, and horseshoe nails.

Fer, I thought, is French for iron; therefore, a ferrier is one who, through working with iron, keeps horses shod.

In the morning, I thought, well, fer, ferrier... that only implies ironwork, there's nothing to imply horses... um... though, on the other hand... in English, a farrier is one who shoes horses... *

I don't think I would have made the horseshoe/horseshoe nail/iron/fer/ferrier/farrier connection awake; but why did I make it asleep? Is this important? Or is this just my brain goofing around while I'm asleep? (I'm half-expecting to see Cathy Jones as Babe Bennett closing every dream with I'm just goofin' around, that's all!)

This niggling sense of meaning... it's almost like a childish prank; as if the Subconscious likes to ring the mental doorbell of the Conscious, and then run away. I can't get any sleep because my Id is playing Nocturnal Nicky Ninedoors.

I can only imagine it got inspired by a bottle of acetone.

There's a bottle of acetone I own which was made in Switzerland, with the words "nail polish remover" on it in English and five other languages.**

The other day, I noticed the word for nail was Nagel (or Nagella) and the fleeting thought, oh, I know someone with the last name of Nagle, wonder if that meant at one point their ancestor made nails for a living... but how can you make a living making only nails? crossed my mind, shrank away into the distance as it continued to the horizon of my consciousness, then fell off the edge of my mind map where one finds only the words Here Be Dragons.

I guess thoughts aren't gone just because you've forgotten about thinking them.

~ ~ ~

* Ferrari... related, possibly, to the (Latin) ferrare: to shoe a horse. Which makes sense, considering the tradmark horse. Interesting to look at that beside the myth of St. Dunstan, the smith who put horseshoes on the devil (good old St. Nick)...

** The four official languages are French, Italian, German and Romansh. I figure the fifth one is either Latin, which they sometimes use so as not to play favourites, or, more likely, Serbo Croatian, since more people speak Serbo Croatian in Switzerland than Romansh.

The 21st Century Digital ID Stork

Where Babies Really Come From

Funny; the world's population was only 5 billion yesterday... and now, all of the sudden...*

... good heavens; where are we going to find the military resources to defend them all?**

~ ~ ~

* Somewhat frightening that the blue-eyed seem to have an advantage in this new world biometric order...

** The Regiment That Never Was... ?

MP38C's

Well, that trumps carrying Kleenex in your bra.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to suggest a swipe card reader.

Or plasma globes.

Funny, I don't see them making the same suggestions for testicular implants.

I suppose it's bad enough when a doctor goes poking around down there; they don't want IT messing around down there as well.

I've got The Force; and I'm not afraid to use it.

These aren't the droids you're looking for. And hand over your wallet.

high pressure front, with a 90% chance of mood swings

I was only following orders

...is no excuse.