They must be very nice people; I'm sure getting beat up on the school playground builds character.
Below please find a list of "names".
These purported names are from junk mail which I have received. I am not making any of these up; but I wish I could have.
Would you buy anything from somebody named:
Connoted M. Brogan
Truth H. Determination
Successor R. Tristan
Prefacing P. Dyslexia
Sarcasm R. Spouted
Retribution M. Hoax
Headphones S. Eras
Castration A. Oil
Hastened S. Cremation
Regimenting F. Assets
Misty P. Senegal
Befog E. Perturb
Voluptuous I. Staccato
Garvey M. Implementer
Murmurs P. Pain
Mailer E. Roadwork
Varlet A. Insider
Impious M. Urbaner
Partnership O. Marcel
Whimsical L. Shauna
Despise E. Kandahar
Priscilla Q. Windpipe
Tenderizers H. Jumbo
Delude M. Laity
Underground V. Serbian
Exasperated H. Soreheads
Oyster M. Attila
Dissassembled J. Gauntness
Teatime C. Overuse
Clambake M. Permanence
Wayfarings P. Insightful
Soulfullness T. Anaesthetized
Materializes T. Craig
Beanbags V. Homework
Stigmatize H. Volt
Wildcat C. Synopsis
Erna B. Unquestioningly
Legless L. Preserves
Comebacks G. Disseminated
Wipers T. Mason
Decentralize S. Tallyhoing
Sake J. Anticipations
Baptists I. Outshone
Pizza M. Pucks
Entrenches L. Knuckle
Nosegays F. Hitler
Seamanship H. Zibo
Deon F. Styled
Explore O. Seebeck
Alluluia L. Percival
Hunt L. Ordure
Grog A. Transmigrating
Irately G. Luminosity
Provencals G. Victor
Understatement H. Swordfish
Compiler H. Lain
Refract I. Hardin
Beleiver B. Tributary
Loki S. Statistician
Philosophising T. Nubile
They were all such wonderful names, it was hard to single any out; but I felt I had to make an effort to determine my favourites. I want to thank everyone who auditioned, I enjoyed each and every one of you.
Third Runner-up:
Hypersensitive G. Expiation
Second Runner-up:
Gymnosperm O. Desiderata
First Place Blue Ribbon:
Inextinguishable K. Humankind
These names deserve to have characters written for them, and stories to inhabit. I'm not making any promises... let's just wait & see what happens. Maybe I'll start with pictures first...
There is a church in England which is quite responsibly recycling the water from its baptismal pool... by holding a holy water car wash
For some reason, all I can picture is John Cleese standing in front of a church, in a waitress outfit, holding a shoulder-slung box with a Mini in it, saying, Of course it doesn't come with bloody wafers... it's a bleeding car wash, innit? Car Wash!
It's all very well and good for the Baptists, but it would never work for the Catholics; we'd be there forever, sprinkling on the water one aspergill at a time...
Next up: the Wensleydale aftershave
Stilton has launched a Blue Cheese perfume ~ Eau de Stilton.
The company says they don't have a big budget to splash out on celebrity endorsements. I'm hoping they they can at least get Wallace & Gromit... though I understand that would make branding the perfume as alluring and sophisticated rather something of a challenge.
Was getting rid of some of the evil nasty sites that have pinged themselves to my blog like little trackback leeches... and one of them was named:
... and it took me a minute to realise that by "thumbnails" they meant small images.
Until that blessed epiphany, I actually sat here with one brow furrowed as low as it could go and the other brow raised as high as it could go, thinking, who has a fetish for thumbnails? and in particular for male thumbnails in drag? and how does that work?
And I just couldn't wrap my head around it; so in a way, I suppose my innocence is still preserved.
'tism by Bap
I've been making bread a lot lately, so much so that I've started to think of my rest periods between exercises at the gym as an autolyse. In particular, I've been making baguettes.
There's something both sophisticated yet informal about a small baguette. It's a social rung above a mere dinner bun, but it doesn't demand the social niceties of a sliced loaf bread. Makes a meal feel more civilized without feeling uncomfortably proper.
So I finally succumbed to the temptation of buying a perforated triple baguette pan.
Fortunately, the baptismal batch went especially well - luckily so, since it was experimental. Measurements are by weight thanks to my new $8 kitchen scale which works solely in Imperial, and are approximate thanks to my poor memory:
3 oz whole wheat flour
6 oz cup bread flour
4 oz cake flour
3 oz flax meal (flax seeds pulsed in the coffee maker)
2 1/4 tsp instant yeast
2 tsp salt
13 fl oz water
1 tbsp brown sugar
Dough will be slightly sticky so oil your hands to knead it. And yadda yadda yadda, you know the general method for making baguette.* In the end, it goes into a 450F[-ish] oven for about 25-30 minutes.
I usually make six small loaves; but I think I will try this intriguing layout next...
good eggs go to heaven
Made angelfood cake for the first time... was shocked & delighted that it turned out to be excellent (that whole egg white/soft peak/folding thing, very intimidating).
Will dare try its cousin the meringue/Pavlova next... perhaps will be crazy enough to layer meringue and angelfood together, and call it Death by Albumen. Or The White Death. Or A Pale Horse... if only I could figure out what to do with all those yolks.
[Addendum. Now that I've had the chance to sleep on it... In honour of its being low in cholesterol, and its being fishbelly white, I shall call it: Death Takes a Holiday. Oh, and my scale does work in metric... so heaven only knows why it's so cheap, it'll probably throw a spring at the most inconvenient moment...]
~ ~ ~
* Follow my mother's fine example: put a trivet in the bottom of a big pot, fill the pot with very hot water almost up to the top of the trivet, and sit the covered bowl of dough on the trivet in the pot to proof.
Going down in flames
So, how does Beltane compare to other Scottish holidays?
Oh, well, there's Beltane, when we light bonfires and jump through them.
And then there's Up Helly Aa, when we parade though the streets with torches, pitch them into a viking longship and sing while it burns... there's the Stonehaven fireball ceremony when we parade through the streets swinging giant fireballs around our heads... and Burning the Clavie when we parade through the streets with a burning barrel full of wood & tar...
And who can forget Celtic Samhain and Halloween when we burn various bits of things; Hogmanay, when we burn juniper; and, everybody's favourite, Guy Fawkes Night, when we burn Guy Fawkes.
And ultimately there's Burns Night, when we read poetry.
Must have something to do with the climate. Imagine a lifetime of long dark, wet winters in which the sun comes up but not out... under those circumstances I'd find a lot of reasons for setting things on fire.